Socrates was on to something when he said over 2000 years ago: Know thyself. Self reflection is a key to personal growth and to increasing our contentedness with life. Knowledge is power as they say, and self-knowledge is a game changer.
We’re starting off 2017 with hope for a better year. We start every year hoping it’s an improvement over the last. It’s such an expression of being human – the desire to be better than we have been. And just how do we do that? How do we become our best selves – or at least get closer? During the month of January I’ll be blogging about this topic.
To begin with, an essential step is to take the time to reflect upon ourselves, our choices and our actions. Self-reflection is not mindfulness, meditation, or prayer (though these are all helpful activities). Self-reflection is taking some time to examine our own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors for the purpose of gaining insight into ourselves. It’s being curious about ourselves and what makes us who we are.
Self-reflection can lead to greater self-awareness and increased self-esteem. When we know what motivates us, what our deepest passions and values are, we can see ourselves as others see us. Ultimately this type of insight leads to greater connection with others. Self awareness leads to greater effectiveness. It helps us know and play to our strengths and identify our growth opportunities. With self-reflection we can develop intuitive decision making skills and know how to avoid what stresses us.
Angeles Arrien was a cultural anthropologist, educator and thinker who offered what I consider a compelling way of looking at self-reflection. She called it the Four Rivers of Life and they are: Inspiration, Surprise, Challenge and Love. If we ask ourselves questions in these four areas on a regular basis, we will enhance our self-awareness.
At the end of each day we might ask:
What inspired me today?
What surprised me today?
What challenged me today?
What made me feel connected to others today?
Inspiration is a key to creativity and a connection to our deepest passions and our sense of aliveness. Surprises help us stay flexible and resilient in the face of life. Challenges invite us to develop mastery and to stretch and grow. Connection and caring and expressions of love show us where we are touched and moved by our experiences. Those moments highlight meaning beyond the self and beyond the present.
I invite you to write up these four questions and leave them on your nightstand. When you are finished being active with your day, and are relaxing and waiting to fall asleep, perhaps you’ll allow yourself to wonder about your day in these terms. You might surprise yourself with the answers.